Swan-tastic!

You know that image of the swan, all serenity on top but paddling madly beneath the surface? That's a pretty good analogy for my state of mind these days.

Next week my sister leaves for New Zealand for a year to eighteen months and though I wasn't dwelling on it consciously, it was really churning up my sub-conscious!
For the last four or five days all my dreams have been about travelling with MissAmused (sis) in obscure places and uncomfortable circumstances. I think the recurring theme of discomfort is clearly my mind bracing itself to missing her a whole heck of a lot.

I'm flying home in the morning - a prospect over which I would normally be 'cock-a-whoop', but this time I'm feeling so apathetic I can hardly bring myself to pack. Something I generally excel at and revel in.

There is a point to all this whining, I promise! What I have come to realise is that my discomfort is mostly due to the fact that MissAmused has never been this far from home for so long before. She is setting off on an exhilarating, terrifying and wonderful adventure and I can't be beside her to make sure everything is as perfect as can be. I am going to have to stand back, hand her over to the Lord and trust that he will shelter her even better than I could.

I said yesterday that I thought this Lent would be about discerning my path. Now I think it will be much more about handing my loved ones over to God. I reckon it's something I'll have to re-do on a daily basis.
Lots of rosary decades will be used up for this one!

Ash Wednesday

Best Friend and I went to Mass today for Ash Wednesday, and as I knelt and prayed after Communion I meditated on where the Lenten journey would take me this year.

I've learned over the past few years that when I truly surrender, it can take me to some rather wonderful and unexpected places. God does indeed work in mysterious ways.

This year the beginning of Lent finds me circling the same crossroads I've been contemplating for a few months now, namely: what path do I follow career wise? Do I go for TEFL teaching, an office job or pursue my business idea?

So this Lent will be seven weeks of 'Hush up and Listen!' as I try to discern God's will for my working life.

I'm rather looking forward to seeing where this pilgrimage will take me, and finally getting past the crossroads.

Spring is in the air

After the coldest winter in over fifty years, (boy do I pick my times to emigrate!) we're finally getting some signs of spring here in Bonny Scotland!

We are getting lovely blue patches of sky between rain showers, and I have actually been known to leave the house without a hat over the last week. The most satisfying for me was being able to hang a wash out on the line for the first time in five months. Which is great timing as Best Friend and I will be doing a stock take and laundering of baby clothes this week, getting another important job done before the immanent arrival.

I said in my first post that I intended learning German this year. This plan took a big step backwards last week when I showed up for class to discover it had been cancelled due to lack of interest. I was offered Creative Writing or Polish instead. I politely declined but inside I was whining: "No, no, no, you don't understand - I have a Swiss wedding to go to!"
So it's back to studying away myself on my online lessons and I will search my library - with a bit of luck I might get a Michel Thomas German course. That would be great because those things cost about eighty quid to buy.

Nothing to report on the job hunting front. It's a case of trusting God to move the mountain, but in the meantime I'll keep digging. While I was signing on last Thursday, I saw a pamphlet offering courses on setting up your own business. I can't imagine a worse time to start a business - I had planned to start one in October '08 before all hell broke loose, economically speaking. But while I'm on Jobseeker's Allowance I can do the course for free, and who am I to turn down a freebie?!
I duly made an appointment and I meet with the consultant tomorrow afternoon. I'll let you know how it goes.

Last Friday I did something else which I've been meaning to do for an age and a half, I went into the Edinburgh Volunteer Centre to see what I could give back to the community. I really want to do TEFL volunteering, for three quite selfish reasons:

1. It will look impressive on my CV and give me a valuable edge in the job market.
2. It will get me out of the house and doing something rewarding and productive, thereby saving my sanity.
3. Due to a bizarre string of colds in October, sweet things have been anathema to me since October 18th, therefore, this Lent I won't be able to do my usual 'Mortification of the Flesh' and give up my favourite foods. So I'm going to be creative and take up something instead.

I found and applied for three TEFL oriented, volunteering posts, so we'll see how that goes.

Now I'm off to put another wash on the line. Huzzah!